Relay bounce with fade out signal

I'm still trying to work out how to get the correct value for a pull down. And in a sense, yes, 1 is shorthand for 12v, though I'm using digital logic as both the ILE and HL pins are connected to ECU's that switch between power and ground (1/0), where as acc will just be power and float. Basically I'm trying to make HL go to ground ONLY when both ILE AND ACC are grounded, it should be poweRED / floating(As it has its own power supply) in all other circumstances.

Well hence my question for R3. What is it a pull down for?

I figured it would be a more solid ground for HL to use, to try and prevent the fade from causing chatter

I don't see how. Maybe having a complete circuit might make me click... But is this part of you thinking "brute forcing ... may well work for my application" or something that says it isn't working?

Here is the diagram for the headlamps. If I ground at the Red line, the headlamps come on. Here is the interior lamp circuit. The red line here is usually 12v, and then grounds when the interior light is turned on via the body control ecu (ILE). At present the two are connected via a diode allowing that headlight circuit to ground through the BCM. It works well, however I don't want it to work with the ignition on, hence acc. My main problem is the slow rise on the ILE pin causes relay chatter as the voltage isn't quite high enough to give the coil enough strength to fully hold the switch, so I need something that will make it a definite high/low status. For that reason I think the brute force method might just work.

Copied the wrong diagram.

Cool. I'll leave that for others. Meanwhile I'll add that as another (hypothetical?) reason I don't like brute force. FYI - I meant circuit diagram else maybe a schematic (not wiring diagrams) including the chattering relay location AND what the intent is (ie, output when or as a result of....?). My solution would probably be using triggers direct, or circuitry if I had to use the ECU output.    Good luck.