First off, the relay is probably wired wrong. If you are using regular taillight bulbs for the stop lamps, check to see if they are all working. The violet wire in the cruise harness must be grounded for the cruise to work. When you depress the brake switch, the wire will get 12 volts and thus lose ground and disengage the cruise. The switched wire on the brake switch should measure at ground because it is wired in series to ground with the stop lamp filaments inline. If you measure the switched brake wire with the ignition OFF, you should get a reading of less than 10 ohms to good ground. If one of the stop light bulbs is burnt out, you will get a higher resistance reading and the cruise won't work. If you decide to wire in a relay, you need to install in such a way that you don't hear it click everytime you apply the brakes (annoying). Wire it as follows: Terminal # 86 to the switched wire from the brake switch that goes to 12 volts when the brakes are applied. Terminal # 85 to ground. Terminal # 87a to ground. Terminal # 30 to the violet wire from the cruise control.
The cruise control must be able to control the speed of the vehicle.
In a manual trans car you can get away with only using the tach wire because when the car is in gear (usually only 4th or 5th) and the engine RPM is a at a certain rate you will be travelling at a certain speed. There is a direct relationship between gear and RPM. Thus if the cruise only cares about controlling the throttle to keep the RPM's the same, then the vehicle speed will remain constant. The fault with this method is that you need to remember that if you change gears and hit resume, your actual vehicle speed will change relative to the RPM's.
In auto trans vehicles it is better to use a VSS signal. This way the cruise will only monitor the actual vehicle speed and adjust the throttle accordingly and it won't matter if the engine RPM's change with gear changes or changes in the torque converter.
Set up the magnet kit so the sensor is only 1/2 inch away from the head of the sensor mounting bolt when it passes by it. Rear wheel drives should only have 1 magnet on the drive shaft. Mount the sensor as close to the output shaft off the back of the trans. Mount it securely so that bumps don't cause it to move. The drive shaft moves up and down so your sensor must be mounted to one side so the 1/2 inch space isn't altered. Usually if you mount the sensor to the body within 8 inches of a universal joint, you should be OK.
Using the VSS method on a auto trans is the way to go. It will make for a much smoother cruise. If you can get it to work correctly, ground the cruise tach wire. The cruise will work better if it only has one input source. If it tries to adjust to both the VSS and tach the cruise behaves a little funny at times and may not be very smooth.
I hope this helps clear things up. Don't be too hard on the tech support guys. Remember all they deal with is one problem after another which can be hard on a guy.
sparky