why do headlights flash, and how...

I've been hooking up to my 94 ford ranger a Stingpro dx310 alarm.  Everything works, but when i turn the key to the on position (not to start the truck) the lights flash like i set the alarm off, so I have to hit the unlock button like Im disarming the alarm.  Also I dont know if this is the cause of the problem, or if its because one wire is hooked up wrong, Im assuming, because to get into the code learning mode, I have to hit the valet switch 10 times when I turn the key to on, but it never works, like I have one wire hooked up wrong??

My Next Qustion,

I Also have installed the SPAL universal 2 central lockink power door locks.  Anyone have any idea or any experience hooking those up to an alarm system?  They have 5 wires comming off both actuators, plus  the power, ground wires going into the harness also that all connects to the brain.  The 5 wires are split into two harnesses, one harness is blue/red, the other harness is black, purple, brown that goes to both actuatores... what im not understanding is how to connect them to the 6 wires comming off the alarm for the locking interface connections.  Would I not install the main unit and just find the lock/unlock wires on the alarm, and connect them to the lock unlocks of the actuators??  The alarm install guide shows 4 types of install, withouth driver side locking motor, with negative central locking, with positive central locking signal, and with direct switching central locking... do I follow one of those instructions??

Last question that I've never had to deal with, On my alarm diagram, it shows the ignition and it has a red wire going from the ignition start to the relay (starter relay im assuming) then to the starter motor, and it also shows that same wire comming off before the relay and going straight to the starter motor.  Is this true on new cars?  It says to cut the connection were it splices off before the relay and goes to the starter so that its only going from the igntion (start) to the relay then to the starter motor??

Thanks for any help

For some reason above the picture is all messed up.. here it is again