power locks, relays fluttering

Hi all, I'm new to the forum. I'm installing a 4 door power lock setup on my 2002 E350 cargo van and have a question or 2.

I ordered a kit from Spal but the control module is hosed so I did some research and talked to some guys at Trick Trucks and Circuit city and I've managed to set up a set of 5 relays to control everything but when I have all 4 actuators connected and hit the L/UL switches the relays work but they flutter. When I remove one of the actuators from the circuit, this stops. Is there something common that causes this or is it normal? I connected everything on my work bench using a 13.8v Pyramid power supply

Second question is, how can I set up the relays so that the relays disconnect after the actuators move to lock or unlock? If I hold the switch buttons the power stays on the relays...I'd like to just get a pulsed ground signal when I hit the switches. I will be connecting a remote security system to it and have it wired for a 3 wire ground 2 step setup.

3rd question...the 4 actuators from Spal came with 2 of them having 5 wires. These were for the drivers and passengers side and wired for connectiong to switches. I'm bypassing the actuator wiring and connecting the switches to the relay array. Is there a better way to set this up and incorporate the actuator switch wiring?