hi kids here’s your hump day laugh

Emailed to me this morning. Thanks Dave!! Thought y'all could use a Wednesday laugh!

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"Just in case you need a laugh: Remember it takes a college degree to fly a plane, but only a high school diploma to fix one. Reassurance for those of us who fly routinely in our jobs. After every flight, UPS pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by UPS pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.
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P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cookpit
S: Something tightened in cookpit

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what friction locks are for.

P: IFF inoperative in OFF mode.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to: straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cookpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget."

Bwahahahahaaaa!
Dave

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It all reminds me of something that Molière once said to Guy de Maupassant at a café in Vienna: "That's nice. You should write it down."

Thanks man I needed that!

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Good Luck!
-Thad

ROFL! Thanks for sharing

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Never send your ducks to eagle school.
The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra.
The 3Ls of life: Learn from the Past, Live for the Present, Look to the Future.

I love that list.

I printed it out to show my maintenane staff.  They'll get a kick out of it.

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Kevin Pierson

Thats Awsome!

I am a ultralight pilot, and i have flown a few cessna aircrafts before with training. I love flying.


Heres a little story for you:

have you ever read/heard on the news about a ultralight airplane crashs? Well heres a little something to remember, the FAA dont require any license or training to fly a ultralight airplane. ANYONE can get in one, and fly it. Hell, a 4 year old child could fly one if he wanted too.

But thats where the problem lies, if they dont require any training, why do you think there are so many crashes? DUH!

But fyi, I have had training before i even flew a ultralight, but its the people that are too stupid to realize that, and just fly one without any training that always crash.

that was funny as hell!!

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Bigred