Any one know about door locks? actuators? relays?

Well, not really sure what your question is.  I didn't have power door locks in my car, so I bought two actuators and two relays, and hooked it up to an alarm, and now I have power door locks.  Installing the actuators is a bit tricky, but it's do-able.  You just take off the door panel, and install the actuator to the rod that moves the lock open and closed. 

Then, since the wires are short on the actuators, you add some wire, and drag them through the boot in the door, under the dash, and then into a pair of relays.  Then the relays hook up to the alarm.  Then when you arm/disarm the car, the doors lock and unlock.

Here's a diagram on how to hook up the 2 actuators to the two relays:  https://www.bulldogsecurity.com/pdf/actuator.htm

here's a shot of my actuator:

I understand what you're trying to do, but I don't think it will work that way.  If I read correctly, you're hoping to use the STARTER KILL circuit to lock/unlock.  This won't work because your starter kill wire is either providing a ground for the kill relay when the alarm is sounding or armed (for a "normally closed" circuit)  ...or...   it's providing a ground only when the alarm has power and is properly disarmed (for a "normally open" circuit).

For an aftermarket actuator, you want (usually) a 1 second pulse to lock, and the same to unlock.  If your alarm doesn't have a lock wire and an unlock wire, you're stuck.

I'm sure there's a good wiring diagram for actuators on here somewhere...