Relay to neons

if you are worried about the signal feeding back to the alarm, simply throw a diode in line... diodes only allow signal to run in one direction.

now, a more important question... what is it that you want the lights to do? are you trying to make the lights blink like your parking lights do? if so, it won't work... the signal from your alarm is short (under one second)... the transformers for the neons take longer than that to warm up. the signal would have come and gone before the transformer ever warmed up enough for the lights to activate... you can try programming your alarm for a longer pulse (most go up to about 3.5 secs for cars with vacuum driven locks) but i don't know how your actuators will like getting a signal that long.. in either case you need to tap off the door trigger, not the siren output.

if you want to control the lights via remote.. one push one, next push off... check out the page about relays on the main site. they have a diagram that creates a latched on output from a momentary ground signal... i hooked my interior neons to this setup and now i can turn them on and off with the star button on my remote. since the key fob is at the ignition while driving, i have no need for a switch in the car.

hope i helped, and i hope it wasn't too confusing...

my buddy wrote up a diagram for his alarm.  you might be able to use the general concept of it at lesat for your alarm:

or the pretty animated one:

http://www.cmeglow.com/Wiring%20Diagrams/wiringalarmdiagram2.gif