Dammit... They got me! I'll just put up what I was feeling, and you all will SEE that they got me! ARGH! I started with the top woofer, read some of what sounded like the "Retroincabulator" of the woofer world, then I looked at the other products AFTER I started typing! Funny stuff!
First of all, I smell spam, and if this DOESN'T get locked or deleted, I'd be very surprised. Secondly, If they build their drivers like they proofread their webpages, they are CRAP... I cannot believe that ANYBODY with even half a brain can believe the drivel posted there. This "Swap-O-Rama", "trying-to-sound-more-technical-than-you", presentation leads me to believe that they are over-hyped, unreliable furry turds, just like Audiobahn. I want to think that the guys AT Audiobahn wrote this copy... I have no experience with them exactly, but I don't trust them... At all...
ddaudio.com wrote:
The Z series represent the pinochle of transducer archeology. The unique design dates back to the precocious era of unequivocal magnetism and the vector planar research of underwater acoustic proliferation. The open archeology concentrates flux lines in the magnetic gap while side lobbing interference cancels stray flux from entering the atmosphere. The result is increased efficiency over the entire bandwidth of collaborating bass frequencies. This allows the Z Series woofers to play amazingly loud with little wasted energy being dissipated as unwarranted heat, this means they get on it and don't get real hot. |
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Translation: The Z series represents the PINNACLE
(pinochle is a card game) of transducer archaeology. (I expect they mean "TECHNOLOGY". Do they dig these things out of the ground? Are they magic woofers?) The unique design dates back to the precocious era of unequivocal magnetism and the vector planar research of underwater acoustic proliferation.
(What? That phrase means ABSOLUTELY nothing... It's all mumbo-jumbo BS) The open archeology
(probably ARCHITECTURE) concentrates flux lines in the magnetic gap while side lobbing interference cancels stray flux from entering the atmosphere.
I think they are telling us that they are shielded... "Side lobbing interference"... Huh... The word is LOBING, and I think they are mentioning either a shielding cup, or a bucking magnet, here - the "interference".) The result is increased efficiency over the entire bandwidth of collaborating bass frequencies.
(I have no idea what that means...) This allows the Z Series woofers to play amazingly loud with little wasted energy being dissipated as unwarranted heat, this means they get on it and don't get real hot.
(ALL the power going into a woofer is converted to heat. Period. Whether as heat in the voice coil, (about 99% or more) or as heat in the air and the surfaces absorbing the sound, (the remaining <1%) it's ALL heat, eventually...)
ddaudio.com wrote:
The Z Series breaks new ground in rare earth magnetics, using newly discovered material, neo-demetrious iron proton (Ned), incalculably more strenuous than the other discovered rare earth magnet material. Ned is highly unstable and very difficult to modulate, yet alone saturate, so its use is mainly limited to noncommercial phase generators used in anti-matter plasma generation. Digital Designs has acquired the rights to use Ned magnetics in non-military acoustic weaponry and the peaceful development of humanistic cohesion through harmonizing wave generation. The unstable Ned blocks are held in symmetry by the side lobe interference which allows the use of the catchy monolithic block shapes from that cool 2001 space movie. These are spatially arrayed to over saturate the Permendur top plate imported from Switzerland in one of those really beautiful, lake filled mountian valleys, giving huge magnetic energy to drive the voice coils. |
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neo-demetrious iron proton (Ned)
No such thing...
incalculably more strenuous than the other discovered rare earth magnet material.
EVERYTHING is calculable...
Ned is highly unstable and very difficult to modulate, yet alone saturate, so its use is mainly limited to noncommercial phase generators used in anti-matter plasma generation.
These guys are goooooood....
Digital Designs has acquired the rights to use Ned magnetics in non-military acoustic weaponry and the peaceful development of humanistic cohesion through harmonizing wave generation.
Wow... Where can I buy these things RIGHT NOW?!?!
And right about here is where I realized I was being had... Merry Christmas, everybody! Careful, they'll GET ya! Reminds me of the Kicker "Heart Shaped" woofers for a Valentines Day joke one year... (I think it was Kicker...)
ddaudio.com wrote:
The moving parts of the Z Series have undergone a minute amount of scrutiny also, the cones feature newly contrived composite materials to handle the extra load lines emulating from the motor, the voice coils are spiral wound in reversing layer directions for optimum efficiency and the voice coil former is really strong. The combined technological oeuvre nearly eliminates all chance of spurious effluvium from occuring. The spiders also feature new technology never found on arachnid based suspensions, silkaleneotton. Genetically altered spiders produce a chemical blended thread of silk, polyethylene and cotton. This synthetic blend is superior to our other synthetic blend. The new synthetic blend is stronger than standard arachnid fiber, more flexible than polyunsaturated polyethylene, lighter than water (it actually floats) and yet so soft and comfortable. This material can stretch to 1.7 times its weight, allowing for un-presidential travel. |
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ddaudio.com wrote:
The new Z Series woofers have more Watts than any speakers we have ever built, so many Watts they got, that we thought of using a new slogan, Got Watts?, but that’s lame so we didn't. We tried to measure the exact amount of Watts a Z Series makes, but no matter how hard we tried to invent a machine to measure the speaker Watts, we could never do it, so they must really make lot of Watts. |
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ddaudio.com wrote:
We, at DD, strive to push the boundaries of a lot of things that are a big hassle to deal with. And why did we do all this... because we want to. |
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At least I truly HOPE they were kidding about all this!It all reminds me of something that Molière once said to Guy de Maupassant at a café in Vienna: "That's nice. You should write it down."