95 accord, starter disable, autopage rf-315

Ok, I have installed a Autopage RF-315 alarm system into my car, partially. The problem I am having is the starter disable wiring. In the book of the alarm and on the relay , it states that

red=12v+ignition which wire is this and where?

yellow=starter wire (key side) which wire is this and where?

purple=starter wire (motor side) which wire is this and where?

white wire to alarm orange wire brain

The only one I understand is the white wire that goes to the orange wire coming from the alarm

Also, on the wiring diagram for my car, I noticed that the head lamp is blue and it is on the left of column blue connector. the book states it needs a relay.

Do I wire this as I would any relay for a negative door trigger? Other than that, everything else is working flawlessly. 

See attachments for the wiring diagram of the alarm  

the starter wire would be located in the main ignition harness, you could trace from the back of the switch where you insert your key to start, the colour wire you're lookin for is BLACK/ white, cut it in half at a suitable point where both ends can be reconnected to the relay, yellow goes to the side coming from the keyswitch  the purple to the other side, the red tap this feed on to the thick gauge BLACK / YELLOW wire frm the same harness.

i don't understand your last question about the relay and the headlamp and the door trigger, please clarify.

Thanks for your help!

When you say "purple to the other side" which wire is that? Color?

The other question I was asking was about the domelight. Is that referred to on the wiring harness from this site as the "headlamp?" If so, I see I have to wire a relay for that