the12volt.com spacer
the12volt.com spacer
the12volt.com spacer
the12volt.com spacer
icon

a man walks into a nightclub


Post ReplyPost New Topic
< Prev Topic Next Topic >
haemphyst 
Platinum - Posts: 5,052
Platinum spaceThis member has been recognized as an authority in Electrical Theory. Click here for more info.spaceThis member has been recognized as an authority in Mobile Audio and Video. Click here for more info.spacespace
Joined: January 19, 2003
Location: Michigan, Bouvet Island
Posted: June 19, 2009 at 5:11 PM / IP Logged  
A man walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm.
The show begins and the comedian comes out for his first show of the evening.
The comedian says "A man walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm."
The show begins and the comedian comes out for his second show of the evening.
The show begins and the comedian says "A man walks into a nightclub with a beautiful girl on his arm."
Just then a man in the front row stands up and says "I think I've heard this before."
The comedian says "Well maybe you caught my first show of the evening."
The man says "No, I just walked in here."
The comedian says "Well ther was a guy who looked just like you, walked in with a beautiful girl on his arm. Could have been your twin brother."
The man says "My twin brother's dead"
The comedian says "What is this, a wake?"
The man says "I don't have to stand for this."
And he stands up and he walks outside.
And the comedian says "Are you out there? I can hear you breathing."
The man says "I'm holding my breath."
The comedian says "Well, I'm holding you wife."
Just then the man says "That's not my wife."
And he walks back into the nightclub with another beautiful girl on his arm.
"Who's that lady I'm seeing you with" the comedian says.
The man says "This is my wife. That other lady is my dead twin brother's wife. You can take her if you want her."
The comedian says "Not unless you say please."
Just then, a man walks into a nightclub with a tatoo of a beautiful girl on his arm eating elbow macaroni.
The comedian says "Is that girl from Italy?"
The man says "No, just hungry."
Just then a man walks into the nightclub, he comes riding into the nightclub, on a pony, with a feather stuck in his hat.
"What do you call that?" the comedian asks.
"An entrance" the man says "But forget that. Just give me a beer and give my pony a jockey."
The bartender says "I think that pony's had enough already."
"Well make it a short jockey" the man says, "And while you're at it give that lady's lawyer some briefs."
The lady stands up and says "I can defend myself, your Honor."
And the lawyer says "But I'll defend her honor, your Honor."
The judge says "Well on her or off her, make up your mind."
The comic says "Definitely on her, that's the best offer I've had all day."
"Well take it or leave it" says the Judge.
"Couldn't we just drop it?" says the comedian.
He says "You better drop leaflets before you bomb."
And the comedian says "I'm already bombing."
He says "Maybe it's your material."
He says "You don't think it fits?"
He says "Well it could be let out a little."
The comedian says "How much do you think it will cost me?"
He says "It'll cost you an arm and a leg."
The comic says "Well listen, couldn't you put it on the cuff?"
The tailor says "I'll tell you what I'll do. We'll forget the leg and I'll just charge you an arm. And a beautiful arm it is."
"OK" says the comedian and the tailor cuts off the comedian's arm and gives him the suit.
The tailor calls his girlfriend and asks her to go out on the town with him in order to celebrate.
He calls on his girlfriend and gives her the beautiful arm as a gift.
She wears it around her neck just like a stole, and they go out on the town.
The man walks into a nightclub with a beautiful arm on his girl.
The show begins and the one-armed comedian comes out for his last show of the evening.
He does his act, and the audience stands up and gives him a hand.
It all reminds me of something that Molière once said to Guy de Maupassant at a café in Vienna: "That's nice. You should write it down."
tommy... 
Gold - Posts: 1,901
Gold spacespace
Joined: December 10, 2004
Location: United States
Posted: June 20, 2009 at 6:39 PM / IP Logged  
a man walks into a nightclub -- posted image.  ..............................a man walks into a nightclub -- posted image.
M.E.C.P & First-Class
Go slow and drink lots of water...Procrastinators' Unite...Tomorrow!
soundnsecurity 
Gold - Posts: 2,705
Gold spaceThis member has made a donation to the12volt.com. Click here for more info.spacespace
Joined: November 10, 2008
Location: Louisiana, United States
Posted: July 05, 2009 at 7:13 PM / IP Logged  
wow, i've never hand my time so thoroughly wasted before.
i am an idiot 
Platinum - Posts: 13,254
Platinum spaceThis member consistently provides reliable informationspace
Joined: September 21, 2006
Location: Louisiana, United States
Posted: July 05, 2009 at 9:34 PM / IP Logged  
I couldn't hold on for the entire read.  Is this maybe taken from a video that us A.D.D.  paitients can watch, so we have a chance of getting to the end?
joch1314 
Copper - Posts: 301
Copper spacespace
Joined: March 25, 2008
Location: Texas, United States
Posted: July 06, 2009 at 8:31 PM / IP Logged  

I finished the whole thing.... but I feel like throwing up now!!!

I had to stop a few times and reread what I read, as what I was reading didn't stick.  So I read and I read, then I reread some more, but found what I'd been reading to be a revolving door. 

See what your joke did to me....JOCH walks into a nightclub. 

...half of the truth can be worse than a lie. <----Roger Russell said that..
howie ll 
Pot Metal - Posts: 16,466
Pot Metal spacespace
Joined: January 09, 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Posted: July 11, 2009 at 11:32 AM / IP Logged  
I'm still waiting for the shaggy dog to make an entrance.
cyrus12009 
Member - Posts: 9
Member spacespace
Joined: November 16, 2009
Location: California, United States
Posted: November 19, 2009 at 4:55 AM / IP Logged  
Hehe .. too funny and too confusing.
howie ll 
Pot Metal - Posts: 16,466
Pot Metal spacespace
Joined: January 09, 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Posted: April 27, 2010 at 3:30 AM / IP Logged  
Should this now read "iphone engineer walks into a bar"?
i am an idiot 
Platinum - Posts: 13,254
Platinum spaceThis member consistently provides reliable informationspace
Joined: September 21, 2006
Location: Louisiana, United States
Posted: April 27, 2010 at 7:38 AM / IP Logged  
Walks in and stumbles out.
howie ll 
Pot Metal - Posts: 16,466
Pot Metal spacespace
Joined: January 09, 2007
Location: United Kingdom
Posted: April 27, 2010 at 12:02 PM / IP Logged  
Oh go back to your pool and your cake (envy envy).
Page of 2

  Printable version Printable version Post ReplyPost New Topic
You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot create polls in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum

  •  
Search the12volt.com
Follow the12volt.com Follow the12volt.com on Facebook
Monday, January 25, 2021 • Copyright © 1999-2021 the12volt.com, All Rights Reserved Privacy Policy & Use of Cookies
Disclaimer: *All information on this site ( the12volt.com ) is provided "as is" without any warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied, including but not limited to fitness for a particular use. Any user assumes the entire risk as to the accuracy and use of this information. Please verify all wire colors and diagrams before applying any information.

Secured by Sectigo
the12volt.com spacer
the12volt.com spacer
the12volt.com spacer
Support the12volt.com
Top
the12volt.com spacer
the12volt.com spacer