Relay Q...why am I not getting it?

OK, I have searched and also reviewed the section on relays, and I still feel confused. There are 2 applications I am needing to use relays for: Multiple lights/neon that come on when the trunk is open I currently have one neon wired into the stock trunk light that comes on only when trunk is open. How can I add more with a relay? I need to know exactly how to do it. I am assuming I would tap into the stock wiring I am currently using correct? I would like detailed instructions like "all neon power wires connected to XX, all neon negative wires connected to XX, etc. Multiple amps turn on with relay, and also neon light. This one seems really confusing to me. I also need to know where to fuse. Thank you in advance. Everyone says it is so easy, but for some reason I am not getting it. Maybe if it is explained to me in another way it will click.

Ok Ok, I think I got it! According to the diagram for "Connecting Additional Devices to the Remote Turn On Lead" diagram, once 86 is supplied with voltage while 85 is grounded, it opens up 87 to flow through to 30, right? If this is correct, can I ground the multiple neon negative wires at the same place 85 is grounded? Also, lets say I wanted to use my existing amp remote wire, power and ground, a relay, and a non lighted switch to turn the neons on/off but keep the amps on like they are now(come on when car is on). Where do I wire the switch to turn the neons on/off while keeping the amps on? Can 3 neons share a common switch? Thanks.