2009 toyota venza w/smart key wiring

Alrighty, got the remote start all installed and have a question.  When the vehicle is remote started, and either the time runs out or you manually shut off the vehicle with the remote, the headlights stay on indefinately.  From what I have found from troubleshooting is that this only happens when the headlights are set to Auto on the light switch.  So basically the lights will turn on in low light conditions, etc.  The delay is 20 seconds or so for them to turn off when your not using the remote start. 

Its like the factory BCM (or whatever) won't trigger them to turn off, like it doesn't know they are on when it is remote started. 

Any ideas?

I have not done that yet.  I was just doing some searching on the site, (which I should have done in the first place), and found lots of interesting responses.  Here is what my customer wants for the end result.

1. Remote Start the vehicle, and even when the headlights are set to Auto, they will NOT turn on during the remote start just the parking lights, but when not using the remote start operation the Auto feature to be operational.

So I think I came to the conclusion that pulsing the door trigger will not get me my end result.  I found wiring that interrupts the Auto Light wire and disables it during remote start operation via a relay.  I just need it confirmed that this will work for this 2009 Venza.

Wiring is as follows to interrupt the Auto Light wire: (courtesy of t&t tech)

Pin 87a - side from switch

Pin 30 - other side of cut wire

Pin 86 - Ignition

Pin 85 - Status output wire

pin 87 - unused

Anyone know if the above wiring works, or any other suggestions?

Thanks