Relay To Turn Lights Off When Starting

You can't fry anything... The lighting relay will have +12V ate each end, or 0V at each end, or 0V & +12V across either end. (Hence add a diode if you don't want the starter to turn on the lights with the headlights/foglights off etc.) The lighting relay now merely grounds thru the starter solenoid instead of body/chassis. Hence the lighting relay's "ground" can now be ground thru the much lower resistance starter solenoid, else +12V when cranking. I don't think a connection diagram is required for "reconnect lighting relay coil ground to starter solenoid signal (at starter preferably, else from IGN switch). Or is it? But you need to ensure the lighting relay has no diode across the coil to suppress spikes UNLESS you fit the blocking diode from the starter solenoid so it cannot "energise" the lighting relay if its normal #86 is connected to other circuits else is ground (instead of floating or +12V). In fact, the diode from starter to lighting solenoids/coil may be best. Line (Kathode) end towards the lighting relay.    Whilst a circuit diagram as I usually draw is IMO useful, I don't see that the normal the12volt style of (hardware) connection diagram helps over the above descriptive. But that's just my opinion. Plus a diagram will have to wait....