Door unlock problem?

Can someone help me...I am installing an alarm system in a 1999 ford escort.  The problem is the blue output wire to the door unlock is negative and I am assuming the RED / white wire to the drivers side door lock is positive 12 volts?  I have tried hooking the wire into a 40 amp relay and it doesn't work.  The relay is wired like it is shown here ( https://www.the12volt.com/relays/page1.asp#n2p) I keep blowing the inline fuse.  I have the green wire (-) to the gray wire (-) and all the doors lock with the alarm pulse and the Blue/White passenger door unlock (-) from the alarm to the Blue (-) unlock wire and they all unlock with the second push of the unlock/unarm.  What I need to know is how to unlock just the drivers side door with the first unlock pulse.  I should not need to hit the remote unlock twice just to unlock all the doors when all I want is the drivers door unlocked.  Thanks for any help you can give me.

~Scott

Depending on the alarm you may be able to program it for double pulse on unlock. If not..then you may have to grab all doors, and toss a diode on them