Your last question sums it up...yes you are. You're imagining too much, without the benefit of knowledge about how a good system should be set up. There really is a right way to do things...try the right ways, the time-tested and proven ways...before inventing new and uncommon scenarios.
Some points: You said that you believe a sealed enclosure is louder than a ported one. Not at all. Normally the other way around. You should try to find some of both and have a listen to a few systems to make up your mind as to what general type you want. In car audio, ported subs are usually used by those who want to maximize the boom of certain low frequencies..."SPL"...but that is just a general statement and the other statements to follow are just as general. By thinking in terms of using both kinds, to get the best of both worlds, so to speak, you end up creating a disaster as Rob pointed out. Sealed enclosures for subs, on the other hand, are generally preferred by those seeking "SQ", or the best realism in their bass.
The time-tested approach is to: Get rid of all the stock speakers. Don't use them, unless you're using them to collect paper clips on your desk. Set up a strong and clear front soundstage, using good two-way components that will play the entire musical range from 80 Hz and above. The subwoofer(s) can be placed anywhere in the cabin you find fitting to put them, as the frequencies in that low range are omnidirectional. Rear speakers can provide a better soundstage to rear occupants, or otherwise might contribute to your sound as long as they are at a softer decibel level than the fronts. Sitting in the front seats, you should not be able to locate music coming from behind you.
Have an amplifier dedicated to the speakers, and another amp dedicated to the subwoofer. The fronts should be at no lower than 4 ohms for best sound. The subs can be run at 2 ohm on the amp, and in some cases as low as 1 ohm. A good system might have a 4 channel amp for four interior speakers ( 2 fronts, 2 rears), and a mono amp for the sub. Try not to think out of the box when connecting speakers to an amplifier, series or otherwise. Dedicate a channel to each speaker.
The more subs added, the more knowledge and experience you must have to design it to the point it will work well. I also recommend the two sub approach, and you decide if you want to use ported or sealed. Creating your own enclosure is a near must for best results, or you can hire a pro to custom-build one for you. If you go the route of a pre-made, avoid disaster and choose sealed, as it is more forgiving than any other type.
Look at the entire picture of what you need for a good system, and get your list of materials on paper. There are things that are best done in a certain order. For example, sound damping for the van's sheet metal panels. You may have a lot of money and work in just that part of it, but leaving it out altogether will cause horrible results. Forget the idea of the rear pole with the variety of speakers on it, it will be a waste of time and effort.
Okay, 'nuff said.
Build the box so that it performs well in the worst case scenario and, in return, it will reward you at all times.