Car wont start

Car - 01 Honda accord coupe

Recently I just got back from a trip (two weeks) and when i tried auto-unlocking my car with my remote it wouldnt respond [The car chirps properly except the doorlocks wont respond wih the proper lock/unlock]. So i tried starting the car and all i hear is this fast past but rather quiet ticking sound. First I thought it was my battery being weak so i got a battery charger and after hooking it up it shows that my battery is at 100%. Rules out the battery factor. Since my car has been in a lock garage for two weeks i ruled out outside tampering and the only thing i could think of would be the alarm system. Would two weeks of being dormant somehow trigger the Clifford Alarm to automaticaly go into 'Starter/Ignition Immobilization' mode? I read through my manual and it mentions that the Bullet 4 has this ability but no where does it tell me how to arm it or disarm it.

Anyone have any ideas? thanks ahead of time.

If it was your immobilizer you wouldn't get the clicking that you're hearing (most likely relays).  I'm thinking also that it's your battery.  I'd try jumping the battery from another car that is running.  Make sure that you're using good jumper cables too.  I had a car with dead battery that did the exact same thing when I tried to jump it with cheap jumper cables.  Good cables started the thing right up.  If the starter relay is overloaded you'll get that clicking like that (and the starter WILL NOT turn).

Good luck!