I reviewed your opening post. You have the work lights wired TO the reverse lights. So when the transmission is in Reverse, the reverse lights come on. If this is OK (that the reverse lights come on with the work lights) in Manual On mode, here is a suggestion.
The reverse light wire in an 00 F250 is blk/pink. The switch is on the driver side of the transmission. (Automatic). The easiest place to intercept this wire is at this switch. Find it, TEST IT, then cut it. Extend the wires to your relay.
87a = the blk/pnk on the switch-side.
30 = the blk/pnk on the vehicle side.
(at this point, with no other wires on the relay, the reverse and work lights will function just the way they do now, because there is continuity from 87a to 30).
Now Connect:
85 = ground. (this is for the coil in the relay)
86 = to the Manual On switch B+.
(Now turn your switch off and on. You will hear the relay "click" but nothing will happen. Put the trans in Reverse with the key on, (reverse lights are on) and turn the manual switch off and on. The reverse lights will go off when the switch is on because #30 (the lights) are being connected to #87, but there is no power on #87).
Now connect::
87 = B+ from the Manual On switch.
(Now with Manual Switch ON, there is continuity from 87 (B+) to the reverse lights (30) and the lights are ON). (If the transmission is also in Reverse, and the key is in RUN, the reverse lights will be on in either switch position. Turn off the key, and they will only come on in Manual ON.
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Print this post. Take it to the bench and follow the steps. Hopefully it helps you understand how relays work.
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Sorry. I'm unable to draw and then post diagrams. I don't have the necessary equipment or programs to do it. All I can do is post circuit descriptions, relay numbers, and wire colors.
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Inside Joke: Cheers, Howie!