how do I wire driving lights?

This can be done without a switch if you want. All the switch will do is turn them off if you do not want them on. There is a small difference to be aware of first, fog lights are to be connected to low beam and driving lights to high beam. Which lights do you have? If you do not wish to use a switch on these then there is no need to, the relay info above will get you on the right track. The first thing that you need to do is quit trying to do this using "the force". Do you have a meter?

Your headlights are not a positive ground, they are a negative ground just like every other gorund in your vehicle, what you have found is probably this. You went looking for a line to go to +12v when the lights were turned on and you could not find one. Those lights at the backside of the lights will have 3 wires. It is one of these two scenarios.

(1)  1 ground and 2 positive - 1 wire goes to +12v on low beam, the other on high beam

(2) 2 ground and 1 positive -1 wire goes to ground on low beam, the other on high beam

Chances are that it is option 1 and your light sabre wasn't grounded properly. Test by taking one side on the + terminal of the batt and the other probe on the - terminal. Do you have a reading, let there be light if it is a test light. Once you get your meter  / test light / light sabre working properly and verify that it is working properly, we can get to work on the proper light wires.