2002 toyota echo, doorlocks, remote start

BACKGROUND INFO: I drive a 2002 Toyota Echo. These are basic cars with no options or features so I decided to buy door lock acuators (2 Wire), relays (DEI 451M), and an alarm system (Aftermarket Generation AGA2501). I was going to get this all professionally installed however, no one in my area will touch a system that was not bought from them, so... I have to do it my self rather I want to or not. I understand all of the install instructions... so far, except how to hook up the door locks. PROBLEM: I did a search but I was unable to find any helpful information to get me any further in my project. My problem is I dont understand how to hook up the whole lock/unlock system with my alarm and still be able to use door lock/unlock switches. My install manual for my alarm says this: Violet: Unlock #87a Normally Closed Blue/Black: Unlock #30 Common (output) BROWN / Black: Unlock #87 Normally Open (input) Violet/Black: Lock #87a Normally Closed GREEN/ Black: Lock #30 Common (open) WHITE/ Black: Lock #87 Normally Open (input) Since I am not using a DEI alarm I have to use the 5 wire harness which has this pin out on the back: Violet/Black: Lock/Unlock normally Open #87 GREEN/ Black: Lock Output #30 WHITE/ Black: Lock Normally Closed #87a Blue/Black: Unlock Output #30 BROWN / Black: Unlock Normally Closed #87a Then finally the last components are the electric 2 wire accuators (Green Wire and Blue Wire)on each door, and I want to add buttons later on. I just want 1 lock/unlock button for each door. Can some one PLEASE help me make sense of this all, I am very confused and any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance.

Thank you so much man, I seriously appreciate it. I have one more question and I think I am ready to do this. If my relay requires +12v and my alarm system also requires a +12v for the door lock system should I disconnect one of the 12v or will it be ok?

Ok, one more question actually, BROWN / Black and WHITE/ Black are Grounds, GREEN/ Black and Blue/Black go to the actuator, the 2 Violets merge into one fused wire that goes to the battery. Thats all 5 wires, I still do not understand where the manual buttons fit into this? Do I just ground the center posistion of the switch and then splice into the 2 positive wires going to the actuator that the alarms lock/unlock also hook into?

I have my alarm hooked up finally and every thing is working perfect except the remote start portion. I hooked it up exactly how it showed in the book and this is what happens:(It tells me my neutral safety switch has to show (-) so I ground it, then I push in my clutch since the switch isnt removed yet.)I push the buttons to activate the remote start and every thing inside my car turns on like its going to start, however, the ignition never tries to turn over. After a few second every thing turns off and goes back to normal. Any one ever experience this before? Any help would be greatly appreciated.