1995 Accord LX, Clifford Matrix RS

ive got an 1995 Accord LX that ive been installing a Clifford Matrix RS. ive got everything hooked up and working except the door locks. i used the wiring reference thats listed in the vehicle database, but cant get it to work.   it has a 3 wire system, wired from the drivers switch are orange, BLACK/ white, and black. the switch shows ground at rest and 12v when switched.

i tried to find the connector that is referred to with the appropriate wires and couldnt see it.  "Gray Connector above Fuse Panel TapeD to Harness " is what im talking about.  im pretty sure the system i have doesnt have onboard relays (i could be wrong) so i might need relays. but i was hoping i might be able to use the factory relays. 

i need help guys, this is frustrating the heck outa me. i also cant find the horn wire, "Left of Column Gray Connector" ......where is this at?   

BTW....if i do need to use relays, could someone post a link to a wiring diagram that i need because i tried wiring them in reference to the "3 wire system" and unless i had something hooked up wrong (which isnt impossible because im very tired...) it didnt work. popped a fuse, thats about it.  my door switch also doesnt work to lock the doors anymore either. dunno about that one though.....

please help!!!!

alright, i just came back in from  trying again. i finally found the small gray harness for the power locks. had to use a mirror to find it. but its wasnt plugged into anything so i tried putting the lock/unlock leads into it and all i get is "unlock", lock doesnt do anything. i also noticed that now my door lock switches dont work to lock the doors. doesnt matter what position the key is in, the door is at, nothing. only was to lock it and lock all 4 at the same time is from the outside with the key.

any idea what is going on here???