4 or 5 wire relays?

I'm installing a Crimestopper (cs2001fc) alarm and have a few questions when it comes to the relay for the starter kill. When I look at the diagram that it has the following configuration;

86. to alarm brain

85. ignition "on and/or start"

87a. to the starter ("cut starter wire and connect between 87a and 30 on relay")

87. it doesn't show any use for this.

30. Not quite sure where this wire is supposed to come from but.......

Now the questions;

I've gotten 2-12VDC relays, 1 from Rat Shack, and 1 from an installation shop. Both have 4 spades on them labeled 87, 86, 85, and 30 ( there's a 87a in the middle but there's no spade for it) While looking on partsexpress's web page I noticed that their relays/plugs have 5 spades!

Does it matter if the relay has 4 or 5 spades??

Since the diagram shows I need to connect something to 87a, does this mean that I've got the wrong relays??

ok yes you need a different realy with 87aok  87a and 30 are connect togther when the realy is not powered up but  when the alarm goes off it sends ground throught the orange wire and when you try to start the car it energizes the  realy cause 87 AND 30 to connect  thus  you have a no start  normaly open means that the circut is broke normaly closed means the circuit is connected sorry any othere questions ask thans todd

Hey Todd sorry if I was coming at you with a 'tude nothing meant by that, and you have broken down the lingo so that even I can understand Now all I have to do is put in an order to partsexpress ( I can't find the 5 spades anywhere)

Thanks!!

go to your local stereo shopp hey it ok it frustating hell go to a junk yard walk around look thats were i get mine i have since retired from the biz i do it on the the side i work in late model auto salvage now it pays more todd