relay for alarm to turn on neon lights

I want an aux channel on my alarm to turn on neon underbody lights, and then set that channel so 1 push would turn them on, another push turns them off. Anyways, that wire has a -500ma output, so I would need to use a relay. Here is the relay that is on here:

In my alarm manual, they have pins 85 and 86 switched. 30 and 85 are fused 12V+ and 86 would be the aux wire from alarm. Why are they different and does it matter which one I use?

Yea, I can program that channel to be latched which is what I will do. So it doesnt matter if I use the diagram above, or have 85 and 86 switched. I just have to make sure one of those connects with 30 for 12V and the other be - trigger, correct?