Back to the subject at hand, now that I've gotten my jollies by actually providing a useful photo for once...
Using my Saturn's remote as an example, if I wanted to control it externally all I would need is a relay. The relay would be wired as follows:
85: (-) control circuit from vehicle or aftermarket control module
86: constant 12v fused (if you wanted to use a (+) control circuit you would connect it to 86 and 85 to ground)
87, 30: switch contact traces on the remote. It doesn't matter which one goes where.
The switch contact traces are visible as the interlocking "E" shapes in the above pictures. When the remote is pressed it connects the two together to activate the circuit; our relay should do the same.
As far as actually soldering to the remote's PCB, here's how I would hypothetically go about it.
1. Be patient; it will get frustrating. This would probably be best done with an assistant to hold the remote and wire while you solder them together.
2. Tools required would be an X-acto knife, very thin solder(.031 would probably work), very thin stranded wire(28 gauge, perhaps), and a 15-watt or lower soldering iron with a fine point tip.
3. Ideally you'd use a soldering station with heat control, but in any case you'll want to only touch the tip of the iron to the PCB for the fraction of a second that it will take to spread the solder. This will help avoid damaging the remote.
4. If you look closely at my remote you can see how there are hollow jumpers which connect circuits between the 2 layers of the board. You could probably try to run your wires into these to make the soldering less frustrating. In my case one of the jumpers for the "unlock" circuit goes through underneath where the solid-state device(KPierson, what exactly is that?) sits, so I'd solder to that circuit on the surface to avoid damage.
5. If soldering to the traces on the surface, and not the jumpers, use the X-acto knife to hold them in contact while soldering. This is a big PITA and since you probably don't have a hand each for the solder, the knife, and the iron, I'd again recommend an assistant if you have to do it.
6. Regardless of whether or not you have jumpers to solder through, you should "tin" both the wire and the point where you're soldering to the PCB
before you join them together.
7. After you've made your soldered connections, test the wires to make sure they don't move, and use the X-acto to remove any points where circuits might have become shorted together.
8. This method will still require a good battery in the remote in order to function. Some folks on this forum could tell you how to get a lower voltage from the car in order to supply power for the remote as well; I'm not one of them at the moment.
That's about it...feel free to post a photo of your actual spare remote if you're inclined, and I'll comment on it as well.
C Renner's Auto Electronix
My service is cheap, quick, and good - pick any two