actuator to alarm problem

You can't parallel 5 wire connections you must series them - that may be part of your problem.

Post up how your current switch is wired and we can tell you how to modify the above diagram to make it work.  Most likely you'll have to disconnect the 87A pins from ground and connect them to the switch outputs.

A six prong switch with power and ground in the middle, you have to verify if the switch is applying both power and ground when depressed or, if the wires rest at ground or twelve when the switch is inactiveand voltage is applied one way while the other leg sits at rest! ! After you have done this then we can help you!

What you should do is disconnect the switch all together and get the two relays working with the alarm.

Then, rewire the switch to supply (-) outputs that connect to the relays (-) lock / unlock inputs.  You should be able to just eliminate all the red lines above and connect the red actuator in the picture above to the other black pin (I hope that made sense).

Is it just me, or do you have the wire jumpered together?

Try the out to the actuator on the centre terminals of the switch, and the powers on outsides.

Uhm. but you will have power going straight to ground threw the relay. need to isolate

better just to send -ve pulse to 86/85 as needed