heated seats, ign vs acc vs const

That's OK. Your last sentence is quite right, why I suggested a relay.

So from battery to inside at my relay its going to be like a 8ft run. I think givin the lenth and amps I should go 10awg from battery. What do you think?

Not sure. Don't use AWG but my conversion charts tell me it's 2.5-3mm. If that's the same thickness as the main (H3) high current cables on a Viper remote that's fine. You might try to find the feeder cable (Constant) to the dash fusebox, that would save you running out to the battery.

so the wire others like to tap is ACCESSORY /HEATER BLOWER 1      VIOLET/GREEN (+)      @ IGNITION SWITCH HARNESS, BLACK 7-PIN PLUG, PIN 6 But to avoid over loading I think Ill go the relay route and source off of 12 VOLT CONSTANT      YELLOW/RED (+) (125AMP)      @ SMART JUNCTION BOX BLACK 1-PIN PLUG and tap the other as trigger. This should be ok I think.

Actually, even though they fuse the seats at 20 Amps plus 5 for this and 5 for that, the entire system for 2 seats ( 4 pads and 2 control assy's ) only draw slightly less that 10 amps.  I have measured them at the full high setting with the newer style 11" x 18" carbon fiber pads.  I wouldn't have any problems with a mere 15 amp fused circuit.  Make sure the fuse is accessible just in case but that should be all you need. Soldering is fun!

These are the 11 x 18 pads. There is a spare 20 amp in the fusebox for the factory heated seats she doesnt have am I going overkill with my plan and maybe I should just tap that? Im thinking this over every possible way cause its for her not me lol

I'd go with that factory 20 amp output and call it a day.  Just verify that it is switched and not hot all the time.Soldering is fun!

now i just need the kit to show up lol

The wiring is the easy part.    It's removing those hog rings and the cuts on your hands from the un-finished edges of the metal chair frame. 

Do the pad install in a warm area.  Cold plastic has a tendency to break.  Old plastic is worse.  Remember to disconnect the cars battery for 15 minutes or so before you pull the seats out ( if SRS air bag equipped, yellow harness / connectors ).

Just looked at the kit you got.  Appears to be momentary switches.    That means you can't set the switch to ON as you exit / shutdown the car and have them come on with a remote start.  Bummer.  Nothing better than getting into a semi-warmed up car with the seat already warm.

Soldering is fun!

Yes they are momentary on purpose, she prefers that, I hinted I was thinking of doing it and she commented how she prefers OEM because of being momentary, so I hope I picked ok, for myself I would of probably not gone momentary. Ill bring the seats in the house so they will be easier to work on. Done lots of work on cars before but never pulled off the seat covers should be interesting lol. And yeah air bags, thanks for the warning. The buttons match her interior too. Ill post pics when I do it.