Thought You Guys Would Like this

Quantas Airline Maintenance Logs Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints by QUANTAS pilots and the corrective action recorded by mechanics. By the way Quantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident. (P) stands for the problem the pilots entered in the log, (S) stands for the corrective action taken by the mechanics. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement. S: Almost replaced left inside main tire. P: Test flight OK, except autoland very rough. S: There is no autoland installed on this aircraft. P: Something loose in c**kpit. S: Something tightened in c**kpit. P: Dead bugs on windshield. S: Live bugs on backorder. P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200-fpm descent. S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground. P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear. S: Evidence removed. P: DME volume unbelievably loud. S: DME volume set to more believable level. P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick. S: That's what they're there for! P: IFF inoperative. S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode. P: Suspected crack in windscreen. S: Suspect you're right. P: Number 3 engine missing. (note: this was for a piston-engined airplane; the pilot meant the engine was not running smoothly) S: Engine found on right wing after brief search. P: Aircraft handles funny. S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious. P: Radar hums. S: Reprogrammed radar with words. P: Mouse in c**kpit. S: Cat installed. J Rilla

Owner/Installer

What c***s***er turned the "oc" into "**"? Just Kidding. I just had to use that word again.J Rilla

Owner/Installer

Wow, there should be a password protected forum so we can let the explitives fly whenever we feel like it.J Rilla

Owner/Installer

I'm never flying again.Certified Security Specialist

Always check info with a digital multimeter.

I promise to be good.

Tell Darwin I sent you.

I've been sick lately, sorry I won't be on much.

man, is this an actual maintenance log or is this a joke?Houston,TX

"The two most common elements in the universe are H+ and stupidity" (Ellison).

im a aviation major and all i have to say is  damn them aussies!!!!!!! Best Buy Installer

LMFAO !!! OK, that really made my day. Thanks alot, and people thought make believe things were funnier. Knowledge is power. But only if you apply that knowledge in a positive way, which promotes positive results in others.

EVIL Teken . . .

is there a link or something? my girlfriend jsut asked me to fly quantus. She would understand qhy i chose another airline if she saw this

We need one of those where I work!