banging my head, 1 wire, 2 functions

Here's a modification to Kevin's op amp circuit that should also work- In this setup, the thresholds are set up by a resistor divider shown on the right, made up by three equal resistors. The values are not very important, they just need to be equal values. You don't want too low a resistance because that'll just waste power. The threshold voltages at the taps are going to be 1/3 and 2/3 of the Vcc voltage, about 4V and 8V respectively. The input is going to be sitting at 1/2 of the Vcc in the standby condition, when nothing is applied to the input, because of the resistor divider made up of the two resistors to the left. So, in standby, op amp 2 is low, because the positive input is lower than the negative input threshold of 8V. Op amp 1 is high because the positive input is above the negative input threshold of 4V. This should drive both transistors off, and relays will be off. Now if 12V is applied to the input, the positive input is greater than the 8V threshold on op amp 2, and it switches high. This turns on the relay on the bottom. Relay on the top controlled by op amp 1 remains off, because 12V is still above the 4V threshold. Next, if ground is applied to the input, 0V is less than the threshold on op amp 2, so the relay on the bottom turns off. OV is less than the 4V threshold on op amp 1, so now it goes low, and results in the upper transistor turning on, switching the upper relay on. It could be rearranged if you want to use the same kind of transistors, but since you have both pnp and npn, you can just do it as shown. If the drive output from the op amp is enough to serve your purposes, you could even move things around a bit and just use the outputs directly. That should be enough ideas for you to finally skin this cat-