07 civic si where to find arm/disarm

is this right howie?

Spot on

Actually, Relay Pins 86 and 87 should be connected together and then the same wire continues on with the in-line fuse to +12v constant to supply the relay and trunk release power.

Soldering is fun!

As for the newer CM5x00 and CM6x00, there is a programming option that can be changed to allow the 10 second delay after the last door is closed before it locks and shuts down the engine and goes into reservation mode.  It still locks the doors and will still exit reservation mode if any door is opened.  It is a pain but that is the only way it has to verify the transmission has not been moved from neutral.  Safety first....Soldering is fun!

Another page and we've beaten my personal record (7 pages earlier this year on a Mazda RX7). Look it up Kreg, it's amusing.

so no fuse between 86 and 87, constant straight wire. then one wire from pin 30 inline fuse 15a to constant 12v and another wire from pin 30 to (+) car trunk release. please correct me if im wrong. 85 diode 86 is unchanged.?

No no no no. Look at your diagramme. see where the fuse holder is? Join from there to a 12V+ constant....exactly as I stated in the post "86 and 87 to fused (15amp) constant".

so the constant 12v is to be tapped either in 86 and 87 with a 15a fuse bus. can I tapped it on the ignition area?

Yes, how are you joining the wires by the way?

Yes.  Connect a ( 14 gauge or so ) wire to the thicker +12v constant wire at the ignition switch harness.  The fuse holder with 15a fuse is attached to the end of  this wire.  The wire on other side of the fuse holder goes to Pins 86 and 87 of the Relay.  If you get a relay with the 5 wire harness, just connect / solder the wires from pin 86 & 87 to the fuse holders wire and insulate.Soldering is fun!