2010 grand cherokee

is the fuse box for defroster the one inside under the dash or under the hood?

Not sure.  Think it's the one under the dash from the "rear connector" description.  Soldering is fun!

ok, went to clean up all the wires and decided since the CS at directed told me if i used the relay under the hood to trigger the parking lamps that they would not blink like using the hazards inside the cab area.... did that and soon as i touch the wires the oem relay sounds like a machine gun going off and the lights flicker. i tried going from constant to pulsed output but that makes not difference... i even tried to remove the fuse in the alarm brain, ugh......

well i unhooked the MUX wires coming from the DB ALL cause after reading instructions it says the jeep and commander are a (+) at the hazard switch and (-) at the relay under the hood which is weird cause they both only worked when the alarm brains fuse was on the (-) terminal.... seems to all be working normally now... i think because of my LED runing lamps in the front they don't blink with unlock and lock, but everything else does. i do have resistors in there so they are working properly i know that... but they take a second to turn on during running lamp features and the alarm blinks so fast that they dont have enough time to light up LOL

went to remote start it this morning and the factory alarm went off again. no idea whats going on, was working fine until then