Customers and the funny things they say

I put in a new pair of Lightning Audio 5 1/4's in an older lady's 07 Caddillac CTS which came with a flippin Bose System, because her 17 year old son told her that Lightning Audio (from Wally World) was and I quote "a bajillion times better than that factory Bose Crap". After about 10 minutes of trying to explain that her son was wrong, the lady actually offered me double my installation fee to do it! I finally agreed to do the install even though I kept persisting that it was a bad Idea, but she smuggly replied that the customer is always right.

Fine, whatever! After I did the install, (which was a pain in the ass by the way) The lady paid me, and drove off.  Now for the kicker...   She came back about an hour later and said that she called her lawyer and I owed her a Brand New Caddillac because somehow, I made her low fuel light come on!!!!! At this point, I was so fed up with her snobby attitude that I looked her dead in the face, and said..... "call your lawyer and ask him to bring you some G*d Da*n Gasoline"  Humilliated, she says.... so you think I'm almost out of gas?

DUH!

I've had a few customers like this, but the most memorable one so far happened about 3 months ago.

So one of the sales associates calls back to the bay, asks me if i've got time for a deck and speaker install in a '04 SRT-4. I say sure, bring it on, I'll use whatever productivity I can get. Sales guy brings back the deck and speakers and sets them on my work bench while I'm pulling the kit, harness and antenna adapter, so I don't even notice that he brings me a set of Pioneer 6x8's until the customer gets there. Well, their 2004 SRT-4 turns out to be a 2003 base model neon with an SRT wing. Customer pulls up (right over top of the bright yellow 'NO PARKING' that's been painted onto the pavment) and the frighteningly large woman that got out says "I'm here for an appointment, now I just picked up this car today so you better not mess it up!" I smile cuz I know at this point it's going to be interesting. And it did;

Large Woman: "I need the deck installed and the speakers too, but I think the sales guy was confused"

Me: "How so?"

LW: "I think he thought that I wanted you to pull out my old back speakers and put new ones in."

Me: "Ya, that's normally where they go."

LW: "Well I don't want you to, I want to have six speakers."

Me: "Ok, well let me take a look at your car and we'll see what we can do" After seeing the 6x8's that she's selected "Well I can do a set of 6x9's on the rear deck , but with the way the third brake light sits, the boxes will be partially covering the factory speakers that you said you wanted to keep, which will reduce the overall sound quality. Also, the speakers that you selected are designed for Ford and Mazda vehicles, and if I were to put them into the boxes that we'd need, there would be a gap and you'd have pretty poor sound quality"

LW: (Turning to the weezly looking man she brought with her) "What is he talking about boxes for, I just want them there." (Turning to me and pointing at the rear deck) I just want them left out, why do I need boxes?"

Me: "Uh, I don't think I can do that."

LW: "Why not, my dad did it in my other Neon. You just run the wires through and it's done."

Me: "Miss, this is a proffessional shop and I'm a proffessional installer, and we've adopted the thinking here that you're only as good as your worst install. If I were to just leave the speakers chillin' on the rear deck, that would be BY FAR my worst install ever. Not only is it sub-par work, but it's a huge liability for me and my shop. If I were to leave them out, the first time you have to step on the brakes hard, they're going to come flying into the back of your head, and then you're going to come to me with a lawsuite and I'll lose my job. So I'm sorry, but either I do the job right or I don't to it at all."

Ended up just doing the deck install, sometimes I wonder what goes through people's heads.

had a guy come in my store and said he was running a pyle dryver amp at 4000 rms and running it at negative half ohms. i asked him how he wired it and he said in series so he could get the ohms lower. i told him that was not possible and he snapped so i brought a multimeter out there and it read clearly 8 ohms. tried hard not t laugh so hard in his face.

then about a week later i had some kid come in saying he got a six thousand dollar system installed at ultimate electronics for only one thousand two hundred dollars, and i asked him what you got? i was expecting the t2 that they carry. he said" i got four rockfords ( big pause) p1s" just going along with him i asked what amp he replied" one rockford 600-1. he didnt have any other aftermarket speakers or a aftermarket head. he tried telling some other customers in my store to go over there. by this time i had enough. i showed him what the cost of everything was at our store installed and it came down to 857 after tax. i told him you got ripped off and i demanded he get out of the store. he left not saying a word. lol

When i worked at best buy....i had a lady come in to pick up her daughter's car!  

me: No problem....what car was it that you were here to pick up! 

her:  I don't know...can't you find it with her name!

Me: sure what's her name

her: it's stephanie...

Me: (looking through the invoices)  I'm sorry, you said stephanie?

Her:  yes...God, are you deaf ot what!!  How many cars can you possibly do here?

Me: No i'm not deaf, and we can do as many as 12-18 cars a day depending on what work needs to be done...you are at Best Buy...a lot of people do know about us!  I'm sorry mam...i'm not seeing her anywhere here!  Can you find out the car! 

Her:  (getting irate) WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU CAN'T FIND HER CAR!?  THIS IS BULL$#!$#!  WHAT DID YOU ALL DO WITH IT! 

Me: yelling at me isn't gonna get you her car mamm, and I assure you we would have her car IF we did work on it!  can you call her and ask her what kind of car she has, and where she took it to get worked on??

Her:  FINE....(mumbling something under her breath)   she calls! 

Me: so what did she say...

the look on her face was priceless....i'm laughing about it remembering what happened!

Her: I'm sorry i yelled at you....really really sorry....she actually took it to Circuit City!  Can i buy you lunch or something.....

Me:  No thanks.....I have to get back to work!  got in the car i was working on..and started laughing my *** off....I imagine she felt like a complete moron!!!